Peter Panning

I'm supposed to be updating my real life blog... I struggle. I was catching up on reading blogs today. I've gotten so far behind and had some extra time today. I got to one and as I was reading, I gasped internally when I saw real names and pictures of the person. Then I realized that blogs are not limited to people hiding behind a nym. This is silly that I needed this realization, since I have a real blog with real names and pictures on it. Even sillier because I'm pretty certain that most people who read this blog also know me in real life.

Sometimes I wish I had a really anonymous blog that had an audience. Even this supposedly anonymous blog is personal for every other Board writer and many readers. I even sent the link to my sister who doesn't read the Board so that she can keep up on my life, since I'm way behind on my real life blog. I think of things sometimes that I want to tell people, but I don't want people I know to read. Why is that? They're not bad things. I would have no problem saying them to someone I don't know well. A coworker, perhaps. But to those people that matter most, I hide them. To be honest, I can't even think of an example right now. But I know there was one that spurred this thought in my head. Apparently I really wanted to blog about it... [rolls eyes]

I'm having a great week. I'm out of town for a business trip. I'm staying in the most amazing hotel room, complete with a full kitchen (I even have a dishwasher!), a living room with a couch and fireplace, queen sized bed, and nice bathroom. They feed me a good breakfast and dinner. I'm enjoying the alone time, doing whatever I want... though, I've realized I'm too addicted to chat and talking to the people I love most. I've had good, productive days. I've learned new tricks, and I've gained a knowledge about our site out here that will help me communicated better in the future, and hopefully get things working more smoothly. I'm going to a conference tomorrow that will hopefully give me enough knowledge for me to secure another business trip sometime in the future to Hawaii. We'll see. (wishful thinking anyway.) Somehow, though, I'm still missing home. (Home meaning Provo, which, really has become my second home.) As crazy busy as my life is there, there are things there that I've learned to count on... and I'm missing them. A lot. Thank goodness for little things that can be done long-distance that make me smile. :)

I saw a billboard this morning for a grocery store. It said, "Home of the original Apple Macintosh," and had a picture of a barrel of apples. It made me laugh really hard.

There's a boy at the site I was working at the last two days doing a service mission. He sat next to me for several hours this morning. He's in a wheelchair and my first thought was, unfortunately, judgmental. But after today, I realized that he is incredibly bright and funny.
I feel rather stupid about my initial, unconscious judgment. I haven't laughed that hard at work for a long time. It made me realize that I miss working in the Dungeon... I miss working with people my age.

I don't want to grow up. I want to go back to being irresponsible and putting off my 10 page papers to the day before. I want to stay up all night and fall asleep in my Hebrew class of four the next morning. I want to not know what to major in and just take classes for fun. I really want to take basket weaving again and join another bowling league. I want to be busy doing homework in the evening instead of having my evenings free and everyone else doing homework. Ok... maybe not really. I like my job. I like my paycheck. I like not having the stress of deadlines and school. But I don't like moving onto the next stage of life without everyone else.

Wow... this makes me sound depressed or something. I'm so not. I am in a fabulous mood. I am loving life. I had a hard weekend last week, so this week is incredible by simple comparison. I randomly laugh just thinking about how things just slide off my back today that last week would have sent me into tears. I'm so glad that I'm not an emotional girl all the time. Boo to emotional weeks. (I think I know a person or two who will boo with me...) Cheers to happy weeks! (I just had a quote from the Village pop into my head... I don't know all of it... but here's one part: "I love you like the day is long!" Perhaps it's cruel of me, but I think that part is really funny. hehehe)

Special thank you's to all of you out there who bring smiles to my face. And a hug to all those who make me laugh and giggle. I can't wait till this weekend when we can all smile, laugh, and giggle all together again!

The wheels on the bus go round and round...

I hit snooze this morning the appropriate number of times. Then came the mistake--I got back into bed. I woke up again at 6:25. I have to leave my house before 6:30 in order to catch my bus. Needless to say, no makeup, no full water bottle, no breakfast, snack or lunch. (I did manage to grab the bag of cookies I made last night.) I was pulling out of my driveway at 6:28. I even had enough time to stand in line at the bus stop and wait for the bus to show up.

You'd think I would have been able to sleep on the bus today. I rarely have problems with sleeping on the bus in the morning. But alas, little things kept my sleepy eyes open for most of the trip. Even when they weren't open my brain was active. You know the songs where they take a bunch of random items and make music, such as the Blue Man Group banging on trash cans at the beginning of a movie to show how cool the sound system of that theater is? That was my bus this morning. I could have sworn the girl next to me was slapping her arm and snapping in a rather catchy rhythm. But every time I looked over, she was sitting very still, probably asleep, and the sound continued. I'm thinking it was something to do with the metal and window right there. At the same time, there was metal clanging from somewhere up by the driver, as well as the gentle hum of the bus. Then, there is the random and mysterious melodic tune that sounds from the front of the bus. It's on every 801 that I've ever ridden. And it's rather loud. Typically wakes me up. Grrr... I've always wondered what it is and what it's for. Anyone? Anyone?

As soon as we got onto the freeway, a deaf guy that rides the bus walked up to the driver and asked her to turn off the lights. Being deaf, his speech was hard to understand. I'm not sure she understood, but he didn't wait to find out. As soon as he had made his request, he turned and walked back. The driver, looking slightly confused, pushed a button so something started ringing. I wonder if she was calling UTA headquarters to ask how to turn off the lights because, when no one answered the ringing, she started playing with all the buttons on her dashboard. The only thing she accomplished was to turn the A/C on higher. Good thing I grabbed my sweater in my random choice of clothing this morning.

I know I saw every temple on the way up. I think I fell asleep somewhere just past Jordan River. Mostly because I remember waking up to a kinked neck and my big tube of paper I was carrying falling to the floor. The nice boy across the isle got it for me. At one stop in SLC, our driver turned away someone trying to get on the bus, because really, he'd just have to stand. But by this time, we were in the Free Fare Zone, so every bus stops at every stop. She recommended he get the next one. The North side of the COB is closed for cleaning until Conference, so I decided to try getting off at the previous stop, to see if it was faster. I watched the bus and the people walking to the COB that certainly got off at the normal stop. I beat them by about 30 seconds. Further walk, though. Not sure which is more worth it. At least, in heels. If I could wear my chacos, the decision would be easy. The elevator ride was uneventful.

As I sat down at my desk, I realized how many things I have to do. It's incredible. Especially since I'll be gone all next week on a business trip. Yipes. It'll be a busy day. I decided to get things running that take forever and my computer does on its own. Yesterday I had my coworker finish unzipping some files for me, since I had to run to a meeting. I opened the folder first thing this morning. Typically, it unzips into folders. Nope. Not today. After a half an hour of putting files into folders, I still have almost 3,000 files sitting in here, waiting to be organized.

All this before 8 am.

Watch out day... here I come.

Becoming too dependent...

I wanted to talk about something tonight... to write... to express my feelings. My first thought was, "Oh, I'll write about it on my blog!" And then I realized, I didn't want just anyone to read it. It was personal—definitely not something for the world to read. In fact, I wasn't sure I wanted anyone to read it. For a minute, I didn't know what to do... I was a little sad about not being able to talk it out. And that's when I realized that I spend too much time on things like the Board and blogs. I need to focus more time and energy on writing in my journal and keeping a private record of all the things I feel like I need to talk to someone about.

If you need me, you can call me... or can you?

The concept of long distance seems foreign to me now. I've had a cell phone with a nationwide plan for so long now that I forget that some places cost more money to call. I went to give a friend my work number today and realized that she couldn't just call me from a campus phone... because it's long distance. Cell phones are taking over the world, and even many landline plans now include free long distance. So why don't they just get rid of the concept of long distance? ... honestly... money hungry [grumble, grumble]...

Not always a small world...

I got on the elevator at work today with six other people. Every single one of us pushed a different button for a different floor.

Weird.

O- to A+

I found out today that I can't donate blood again until next July. And all because I took one little felucca ride on the Nile. Apparently mosquitoes don't bite you if you stand next to the Nile as opposed to being on the Nile. What nice mosquitoes they are. [rolls eyes]

I am very sad.

This is a plea to anyone who reads my blog. Will you please go donate blood for me? Pretty, pretty please with honey and sugar on top? It would make me incredibly happy. Really, it would.

The Young and the Foolish, episode 01

I can't get away from soap opera* and drama. If it's not in my own life, it's manifest in the lives of my dear friends. For most of my dating life, I have defined my stories with the title As Dragon Lady's World Turns, Episode ##, filling in the ## with some large and random number. Recently, my personal soap opera has been discontinued and I have turned my free time to watching someone else's real life drama. Knowing many of the actors personally has made it a very new experience for me. I'm not used to seeing both sides of the story. It's caused me to seriously think about things in dating that I had never before considered. I saw relationships in a whole new light as I watched two people interpret the exact same event so differently. I also had insights into dating and marriage in general that really made me stop and think. I'm too tired tonight to explain more, but as I think of things that I think would be helpful for more people to think about while dating, I'll post again, with a subject similar to this.

Note to self

If you fall asleep on the bus, don't drool.

Green Doritos in the Moon

I watched the lunar eclipse this morning. After four hours of sleep, I slept-walked to the park with a roommate and a friend. Upon arrival, we discovered that the sprinklers had beat us there, so spreading out on the grass was not an option. Unless, of course, you had a great desire for hypothermia or more likely, as Friend argued, frostbite. Instead, we set up the telescope, chair and blankets on the sidewalk that cuts down the middle. I selfishly kept all four blankets to make me a little bed and promptly cuddled under my own blanket to enjoy the moon in phases--whenever I could convince my eyes to open--and to listen in on Roommate and Friend's conversation, chipping in whenever I found the energy to think of something to say.

You know the moment, an hour or so after you wake up, when something triggers a memory of a dream you had... you can remember bits and pieces, you can remember that it once made sense and you can remember how you felt... but you can't remember the details that made it such? I had such a moment, but with real life in my semi-conscious state. Friend and Roommate were discussing the color of the moon due to the refraction of the sun's light around the earth. Somehow, I believed they were discussing this topic, using it as symbology for the gospel. I distinctly remember the comparison between all of this and Satan, God and Christ. I remember thinking how insightful they were and how it all made sense. I love analogies and symbology. Roommate is very good at them, so it didn't surprise me at all that they were discussing it. Then I drifted off to sleep. When I woke up later to move to a better place to view the moon, they started asking what conversations I was awake for. Turns out that they did, in fact, discuss the refraction of light, but they had not compared it to the gospel at all. All of that was in my own head. I remember the vague topic; I remember that I was impressed and that it made perfect sense. I do not remember how they tied together. Perhaps when I'm more awake I'll actually think about it and receive that inspiration yet again.

My favorite part of the eclipse was when the sunlight started hitting the moon. It was so bright and beautiful. It was such a stark contrast to the hazy, reddish light that we had been watching for half an hour. Roommate described it beautifully when she said, "It looks like someone's pulling the top off a pudding pop!" I had to gently remind her that the moon is made out of cheese--not pudding. (It is too! Just ask Wallace and Gromit.)

I finally left an hour and a half after I first left my house, with twenty minutes to walk home, get ready for the day (I was still in my pjs), and leave for work. I didn't even get to finish the eclipse. Miraculously, I made it. I'm a little groggy today, but a sweet little angel brought me all sorts of delicious snacks that have kept me awake enough to function. Bless her. Oh, and I was able to sleep on the bus again. :)

What is it about the lights in the heavens that make this all worth it?

Buffalo

I was at the temple yesterday and saw a menu for the cafeteria. The first line on Tuesday's menu said, "We all have a bit of a wild side in us…"

Just not something I would expect to read in the temple…