A regret...

I consider myself to be a fairly good writer. (Hush, Desdemona.) I could fill books with all the papers I've written over the last 7 years. It is not difficult for me to get an A on a paper. I love writing and I think I'm fairly decent at it.

My first year at BYU I took a class that required, if I remember correctly, 40 pages worth of papers. Most were short papers (4 pages per week) with one or two big papers. I remember turning in a big paper, feeling pretty confident about it. I also remember the heart-dropping feeling of seeing the C on the top when I got it back. I took it home, fixed everything that he said was wrong and turned it back in for the final grade. I hadn't agreed with everything he suggested, but I needed the grade. I got the paper back with a B- and a list of things that I had done wrong... things I had already fixed. I stayed after class to talk to him about it and embarrassed myself by having to hold back tears at one point. We argued it a bit, he held strong with his grade but finally said, "If this grade keeps you from a scholarship or something, come back and we'll talk."

Two years later I got denied a scholarship. Other stupid complicating factors aside, it boiled down to me being .01 points from a half-tuition scholarship. I needed one grade to change a half-step. That was it. I looked through my classes to see if there was any hope to go back and raise any of those grades. I saw that class; I remembered the conversation; I realized that that stupid paper had kept me from a scholarship. I seriously considered going to talk to him about it, but it had been so long ago and I didn't even know where the paper was to even show it to him again. So I didn't. Expensive pride, I know.

Today as I was walking across campus, I saw this professor. It was the first time I've seen him since I had that class. I glared at him as he walked past. I'm sure he had no idea. I can be just so aggressive some times.... [rolls eyes]