Warning... Harry Potter 7 spoilers

I just saw this on J.K. Rowling's website and it made me very, very happy.  So I thought I would share with the rest of you... in case you don't make it to her site (or simply don't care enough to go look for yourself) before the magical door closes.

Contradictions

Is it weird that the Sunbelt Granola cereal I got for Christmas is too sweet for breakfast, but I was perfectly ok with making hot chocolate?

Adventure, part 2

[enter big boss man]
"We're just gonna take a look at this."
...
"Your pipes are very ... problematic. But it's just about fixed. I'll let this other guy finish... he was only about 30 seconds away from finishing last time... he just didn't know it."


I thought that would be the end of this post, because surely it was all fixed and over with. Well, it was fixed... but over with? Right... we still had to deal with payment. Let's just say there was drama between the big boss man, my landlady, and the poor, innocent worker who was under orders not to leave until he got paid and the landlady who refused to pay because it should go through the insurance. [rolls eyes] ... the poor guy.

I think it's all over now. Either way, I now have a bathroom sink again. Merry Christmas to me.

Adventure, part 1

So you have a clogged drain?"
"Well, yes. Which led to a broken pipe."
"A broken pipe?" [eyes wide]
[laughs] "Yes. Well, you see, we decided to take off the nut to unclog it. And twisted the pipe in half."
[bigger eyes] "Oh, is it still clogged?"
"I would assume so. You see, what happened was the beginning of a very bad day once started with me dropping my toothpaste lid down the drain. I would assume it's still down there."
"Umm... ok. Well, I'll go get my tools."
[exit, re-entrance, make lots of noise in bathroom]
"Your pipes are all rusted. I grabbed the P-trap and it just crumbled. hehehe."
[exit house, re-entrance, make lots of noise in the bathroom]
"Did you know that you have quite the drainage problem with your pipes?"
"What do you mean?"
"Where the pipe goes into the wall, it's backed up quite a bit. I'm going to go get a machine and blow all that out. Also, have you noticed when you fill it up, it leaks on the right side?"
"Ummm... nope. I haven't noticed that."
"Yeah, I'm trying to figure out where the leak is coming from. So I'll work on that, too."
[exit, re-entrance, make lots of noise in bathroom]
"Have you ever put Draino down this drain?"
"Ummm... maybe? I know we did down the tub. Perhaps we put it down the sink for good measure. Also, I know we did down the kitchen sink, too, just on the other side of the wall, if that makes a difference."
"Hmmm... well, when you put Draino down the pipes, if you don't wash it out with water it will actually harden into a really hard lump. Almost like cement."
"Oh. Wow. Um... what can we do about that?"
"Oh, just a bit of time. You can call us back."
"Well, how long?"
"Well, it'll take about a week to dissolve."
"We haven't used that sink at all for 6 weeks."
"You put the Draino in 6 weeks ago?"
"No. The sink broke 6 weeks ago. We hadn't put Draino in for months and months before that, if at all."
"Really. Oh. Ummm."
"Are you sure it's Draino buildup?"
"No. But it's something really hard. It's like you have a rock in there. I've tried to snake it, I've been trying to eat away at it with the blades. Nothing. I thought perhaps something was just stuck, so I put a screwdriver in and started pounding it in. Nothing. Hmmm... Do you have a flashlight?"
"Sure!"
[give plumber flashlight]
"Wow! Do you want to see this?"
"Sure!"
[get flashlight back]
"Ok, look straight into the pipe coming out of the wall."
"Oh wow... wow... You think that's Draino buildup then?"
"I'm not sure what else it could be."
"That's quite the buildup. It does look remarkably like cement. Perhaps someone pranked us." [wry smile]
[long discussion saying about the same thing in more detail]
"So, is there any hope?"
"Of course there's hope. There's always hope!"
[answer cell phone and go outside]
[come back inside]
"Can we come back tomorrow to work on this? We're probably going to have to cut a hole in the wall and pull the pipe out and try to fix it that way."
"Tomorrow it is then."

Adventure to be continued...

Alphabet Soup

DL: I'm not sure I can do this. I want to give up.
God: I know. Patience, little one.
DL: But what if I can't have patience any more? I'm tired.
God: Shhh... you'll make it. Everything will work out. I promise. Just a little longer. You can hold on. You have more strength than you know.
DL: But what if it's hard?
God: I'll be there to hold you.
DL: What if I cry?
God: [smiles] Then you'll know you care. And I'll wipe your tears.
DL: Will it be worth it?
God: I wouldn't ask it of you if it wouldn't be.
DL: Will I be happy?
God: Men are that they might have joy. I want you to be happy. I will always open the way.
DL: Do you promise?
God: I promise.
DL: ... ok... I'll be patient.
God: I love you, Dragon Lady. This will all work out. I promise.
DL: [smiles] I know.

humorous terror

I was reading Katria's blog the other day about not being updated on the tetanus vaccine. I was commenting out loud (as well as in print on her blog) on how I am also not updated on the vaccine. Last I got it, back in 1997 I think, I broke out in bumps all over my back, chest, neck and face. To my recollection, they didn't itch or anything; they were more of an annoyance than anything. But still, that many tiny bumps are rather disconcerting. We had differing opinions as to what happened. One doctor told me I was allergic to the vaccine. Another nurse told me that it was impossible to be allergic to the tetanus vaccine. (I think that woman is ridiculous... you can be allergic to anything!) Due to the debate, I have gone the rest of my life saying that I'm possibly allergic to the tetanus vaccine. No one has any idea what'll happen if I get the vaccine again. Perhaps nothing. Perhaps I'll die. Who knows? Instead, I don't get the vaccine. It's easier that way. But, when I went to Jerusalem, I carried antihistamines with me... just in case I stepped on a rusty nail and needed to get a tetanus shot.

Anyway, I was talking about this to Desdemona and Laser Jock. I think it was Laser Jock that said something about me getting lockjaw because of it. Oh my goodness! The thought is sooo sad!!! We all already know how I feel about that! What would I do!? Why is it that my one allergy could cause me to not speak? How ironic is this? And how incredibly funny, if you really stop to think about it. Despite the terror.

Ask and ye shall receive

Note: The following is a direct copy/paste from the Facebook group, "There Are Some Things Guys Should Always Do For Girls. Period." These were not created by me, nor directly reflect everything I think or believe. (Grammar, "getting a girl into bed," etc. are perfect examples.) Perhaps someday I'll use this as a base to write my own list. However, I think the overall idea is brilliant and all guys should take note.

0. There are always exceptions to this list. The foundational exception is when you actually talk to the her and she says something different than what is included within this list. These suggestions don't provide you with the holy grail of dating or offer you the Ten Commandments for the Ladies Man, they're simply a push in the right direction for being a gentleman.

1. Open doors when possible - whether it be to a building or the passenger car door. the classic example that's stood the test of time.

2. When in a place of worship (or other places that have aisles and pews), if a man is at the end of the pew, when exiting he should stand in the aisle and let all the females go before him. (This seems odd to some people, yet normal for others. If you don't get it, don't worry about it, okay?)

3. A man should tolerate the occasional chick flick, musical, opera, or ballet - whatever her preference is - *without* complaining about it! (Because the guy may just like it.)

4. Play one of the songs that would make any woman weep like the little girl she once was (but in a good way). A brief list includes, but certainly isn't limited, to:
"You & Me" by Lifehouse
Anything by Frank Sinatra
Any rendition of "Everything I Do, I Do it for You"
"Collide" by Howie Day
"Out Of My League" by Steven Speaks
And MOST IMPORTANTLY "Question" by the Old 97's (if you propose to a girl with this song, she is putty in your hands).
("Putty in your hands" is not meant to promote "using women" in any way. This group does not encourage guys to be polite in order to get her into bed.)

5. Talk! The strong & silent bit goes from intriguing to boring quite fast.

6. Find out what her favorite flower is and buy them for her randomly (regardless of the situation you might be in). A simple yet profound truth: a single rose says more than dozens of anything else. (I encourage the women to not allow a guy to "prove himself worthy" through gifts and flowers and such. Trust is a precious thing and it should take a good chunk of time before he gains it back in your heart.)

7. If you miss her, or love her, TELL HER! Even your friends like to hear it every now & again.

8. Re-enact Zales commercials (the ice is nice but certainly not mandatory).

9. Remember: the best gifts you can give are usually free of cost.

10. Leave a note (or send a message) just to say "hi".

11. Ask her questions about herself.

12. Dress nice every once & a while. Any girl likes to see her brother/friend/boyfriend/e

tc. in a well-ironed button-up with some nice slacks.

13. PRIDE & PREJUDICE ...that's all I have to say about that (I mean, that should speak for itself). (It's even more impressive if he has read the book.)

14. Tolerate small children as best you can. Meaning, put up with the things that can get annoying. They're children, after all. Show them love and care, teach them how to become a better man than you. (You were once extremely irritating. Get over the obnoxious kids and enjoy getting down to their level - not "for her", but for the good of yourself and others.)

15. Learn to dance! There is nothing sexier than a man who can dance really well. If God did not bless you with the grace of Fred Astaire, at least put forth the effort, it will be greatly appreciated. Always slow dance (even if it's just like you danced in middle school). Also, men, sing to a lady. Even if you're terrible, suck it up! They love to listen to it and will not care what you sound like. It's the thought that counts on this one. Unless you're just downright terrible, nothing sexy about that. Haha, thanks, Jade!

16. Kiss her on the forehead.

17. When she's sick, stay up with her. If you can cook (which is *always* a plus), make her some soup. If you can't cook, there's Campbell's soup at hand for you.

18. Pretend to throw her in the pool (or fountain/pond). If you really do throw her in, you'd better jump in yourself. **NOTE** There are some women who just hate this apparently, so you had better do two things: 1) Never allow your buddies be a part of it if you're unsure of how she feels about getting thrown in and 2) You had better know how she feels about it!

19. Hold her hand while you talk, drive, or just for the heck of it (it's the small things that win you big points).

20. LOOK IN HER EYES, NOT AT HER CHEST!!!!!

21. Stupid jokes = awkwardly adorable moments.

22. Tickle her, tease her, let her tease you back without getting all bent out of shape about it.

23. Don't call her hot, or pretty, or cute; call her beautiful, because that's what she is. (I don't think cute is that bad, but definitely stay away from "hot" [it's so overused and superficial] and step "pretty" up to beautiful or gorgeous or stunning or captivating or...)

24. Offer her your jacket/sweatshirt. (Note: you may not see that particular item of clothing for a while, if ever again).

25. Don't be too proud to apologize.

26. It's not stalking to watch her sleep if you fall asleep watching a movie. It is stalking to watch her sleep if you're standing outside her window with night vision goggles.

27. When she feels at her worst, tell her she looks her best.

28. If you're trying to get more than friendship out of the relationship, take it slow and never rush her.

29. Just because you're a guy doesn't mean you are completely incapable of calling when you say you will, it just means you are highly incapable of it. There are few acceptable answers to, "Why didn't you call?", & being male is not one of them.

30. Don't check out other girls in front of your female friends/sisters/mother, unless you are sincere when you later ask them if you think she could introduce the two of you for more reasons than you "want to get some".

31. Guys - always offer to pay for the date. No matter how expensive it gets, especially if YOU asked HER on the date. [if she is willing to pay now and again, don't let your "man pride" get in the way of her wanting to give back to you. she should understand money can be tight - especially when you're always buying]

32. Always do everything in your power to keep her as happy as you can. And cheer her up in any way possible. [if she isn't always happy - and i've never met a girl who is - don't be afraid of her and don't be stupid and always, unquestioningly, blame it on PMS. be there WITH her when times are tough and she wants you there.]

33. When walking on the sidewalk, always walk on the outside near traffic. (So everyone has a different opinion for how this started. For some, it's because of the human waste that was getting thrown out the windows when this was happening a century ago. The woman walked under the overhangings extending from the buildings with the guy in the open to take the mess if need be. Others say it's from the guy's scabbard/sword being on his left with the woman walking on the right. As for today, it's the traffic and puddles and what-not. Whatever it is. It's just a courtesy thing, if it seems necessary.)

34. At least do everything in your power to keep cursing to a minimum while around her. If you can, cut it out period while around her, or cut it out of your vocabulary. Women don't want to hear it, guys don't care about it, adults don't want to hear it, it doesn't impress employers, and you sure won't want your children or someone else's to hear it!

35. Sometimes you have to take the initiative. Don't always wait for her to come to you, because if that's how it always is, you're going to lose her.

36. If any lady is walking alone to her car in a dark parking lot/garage, or is carrying a heavy load, always offer to help walk her to her destination and carry things, if not the entire load. **This may work a lot better and come off non-stalkerish if you at least know the girl you're trying to help. Haha thanks to a LOT of people on this revision.**

37. If a woman says no, let that be her final answer with maybe one question of confirmation after her first answer. Do not pressure or force her in any way after that. Don't make her give in to something she doesn't want to do.

38. Always be honest with her. No woman wants or likes a dishonest man. If you can't be honest with her, she can't trust you, and shows you don't trust her enough to be honest. Trust, honesty and integrity are just as an integral part of a relationship and just as important as love.

39. A man should always genuinely listen to women; no matter how bored or busy the man is. Actively listening to the woman will keep him from pain (and bring the man and woman closer together). This works best, of course, when both the man and the woman actively and equally engage in conversation (this includes listening). For the ladies reading this, please talk - always talk - especially if you are having problems with the relationship and to also avoid making bigger problems.

Nephi said it much better than I could

And why should I yield to sin, because of my flesh? Yea, why should I give way to temptations, that the evil one have place in my heart to destroy my peace and afflict my soul? Why am I angry because of mine enemy?

Awake, my soul! No longer droop in sin. Rejoice, O my heart, and give place no more for the enemy of my soul.

Do not anger again because of mine enemies. Do not slacken my strength because of mine afflictions.

Rejoice, O my heart, and cry unto the Lord, and say: O Lord, I will praise thee forever; yea, my soul will rejoice in thee, my God, and the rock of my salvation.

O Lord, wilt thou redeem my soul? Wilt thou deliver me out of the hands of mine enemies? Wilt thou make me that I may shake at the appearance of sin?

May the gates of hell be shut continually before me, because that my heart is broken and my spirit is contrite! O Lord, wilt thou not shut the gates of thy righteousness before me, that I may walk in the path of the low valley, that I may be strict in the plain road!

O Lord, wilt thou encircle me around in the robe of thy righteousness! O Lord, wilt thou make a way for mine escape before mine enemies! Wilt thou make my path straight before me! Wilt thou not place a stumbling block in my way—but that thou wouldst clear my way before me, and hedge not up my way, but the ways of mine enemy.

O Lord, I have trusted in thee, and I will trust in thee forever. I will not put my trust in the arm of flesh; for I know that cursed is he that putteth his trust in the arm of flesh. Yea, cursed is he that putteth his trust in man or maketh flesh his arm.

Yea, I know that God will give liberally to him that asketh. Yea, my God will give me, if I ask not amiss; therefore I will lift up my voice unto thee; yea, I will cry unto thee, my God, the rock of my righteousness.

To guys everywhere

I saw this group on facebook today. All I can say is Amen!

If there are people who read this blog that don't have facebook, let me know and I'll just post the list!

Geri

I saw this man in the cafeteria of the COB today. I wanted to stop him and beg for his picture so I could show this picture and the real picture side by side to prove it to you, but a) I'm a chicken and b) I didn't have my camera. Turns out, I also can't get the picture to upload on here. So you get to enjoy the link instead.

I will forever have the memory to bring a smile to my face.

Randomness combined

One of the perks of being a member of ALA (American Libraries Association) is receiving the American Libraries Direct email newsletter. At first I thought it was gonna be filled with boring library stuff, but oh well--my job is paying for my subscription, so what do I care? I almost didn't even read them when they started coming, but I'm glad I did! There are always so many interesting articles in there. Here are my top four for this week (in no particular order):

A Study on Facebook
A New Library in Jerusalem
The Wii--Not Just for Kids Anymore
The Golden Compass--A Good Christian Review?

Now the question is... should I read The Golden Compass, or rather, the His Dark Materials series? Typically, if someone tells me not to read a book or watch a movie because it's morally bad, I listen and just don't read/watch it. But this one has gripped more of my attention. Probably due to the controversy. After reading this article, I'm am even more intrigued to read this and make my own decision. I mean, if I listened to the critics, I wouldn't have read Harry Potter, either. So, do I go with my typical safeguard and just stay out of the controversy? Or do I read them and come to my own conclusion?

If I don't read them, I refuse to condemn or praise them. How many times have I gotten upset at people who condemn Harry Potter, or even the Book of Mormon, even though they have never read it. Rather, they base their arguments on what other people have told them. I think that's ridiculous. Have your own opinion or don't fight the battle. So which should I do? Get my own opinion? Or sit out of the battle?

A regret...

I consider myself to be a fairly good writer. (Hush, Desdemona.) I could fill books with all the papers I've written over the last 7 years. It is not difficult for me to get an A on a paper. I love writing and I think I'm fairly decent at it.

My first year at BYU I took a class that required, if I remember correctly, 40 pages worth of papers. Most were short papers (4 pages per week) with one or two big papers. I remember turning in a big paper, feeling pretty confident about it. I also remember the heart-dropping feeling of seeing the C on the top when I got it back. I took it home, fixed everything that he said was wrong and turned it back in for the final grade. I hadn't agreed with everything he suggested, but I needed the grade. I got the paper back with a B- and a list of things that I had done wrong... things I had already fixed. I stayed after class to talk to him about it and embarrassed myself by having to hold back tears at one point. We argued it a bit, he held strong with his grade but finally said, "If this grade keeps you from a scholarship or something, come back and we'll talk."

Two years later I got denied a scholarship. Other stupid complicating factors aside, it boiled down to me being .01 points from a half-tuition scholarship. I needed one grade to change a half-step. That was it. I looked through my classes to see if there was any hope to go back and raise any of those grades. I saw that class; I remembered the conversation; I realized that that stupid paper had kept me from a scholarship. I seriously considered going to talk to him about it, but it had been so long ago and I didn't even know where the paper was to even show it to him again. So I didn't. Expensive pride, I know.

Today as I was walking across campus, I saw this professor. It was the first time I've seen him since I had that class. I glared at him as he walked past. I'm sure he had no idea. I can be just so aggressive some times.... [rolls eyes]

What would you do for a Klondike bar?

Or how about a 500 GB hard drive for $79.99? Personally, I would be willing to stand in line for 2.5 hours at CompUSA, getting some good quality bonding time in with Brother. The people standing behind me for the first 15 minutes apparently decided that the wait was not worth it for seven 1 GB jump drives (or, in her words, "seven Gigabits"). This decision was probably wise. 10 minutes later, the guy in front of us decided that saving $8 on canned air wasn't worth the wait in line and he also gave up and left.

We made it through the TV section. We were tortured with a cartoon of instruments playing themselves while rolling over wooden planks. I saw part of Spiderman 3, which made little sense to me as there was no volume and I've never seen the movie. There was also bits of Transformers, but it was further away. And by the time we got to that set of TVs, the movie was over and we were instead favored with the DVD menu.

For a large portion of the later end of the line there were laptops lined along the wall. Several games of solitaire, some other game I had never played before, and checking my email later, we hit the gaming section. I helped someone try to figure out Guitar Hero, only to find out that the game itself wasn't working and she didn't actually need my help. Then I had an intelligent conversation about Guitar Hero for the Wii... which led to a conversation about the Wii. Apparently Brother has never played the Wii. This should be changed. Anyone got Golf on a Wii that we could play on?

And then, we finally made it out. So what did I do? I came home, plugged in the hard drive and have been sitting here for an hour simply so that I can see Time Machine start backing up my files. Which reminds me, that should be going now...

Wow... that's really quiet and in the background. I didn't even notice it starting. Even knowing it's going doesn't help. I would have had no idea. Go Mac...and LaCie. But alas, there are 710,524 items that it is backing up. Which totals 67.87 GB. I can't just sit here and wait for it to backup everything... cross your fingers for me!

To bed Miss Amy!

Scarier than dreams.

I took a wonderful after Thanksgiving dinner nap today... miraculous due to the 8 kids under 10 that were running wildly around me.

Do you dream that you've woke up and can't move? It's really, really scary. Today I did something similar. I dreamed that I woke up and couldn't talk. I was trying to tell my sister that Spanish Fork and Pleasant Grove were not the same place... in fact, they're on opposite sides of Provo. This was very important. They were going to go to the wrong place. I was mouthing all the words, but no sound was coming out.

Anyone who knows me knows that this is just as scary, if not more so, than waking up and not being able to move. Don't worry, though, I just spoke to my daddy. It was just a dream. :D

Christmas wish list

I saw this today and decided this is what I want for Christmas. Perhaps if all of you chipped in together....

Wistful...

Last weekend I went to a Board party. (Which was amazing, btw. I love Board parties.) At one point during a conversation about different cliques, someone mused, "That's the beauty of college. There are so many people, you're certain to find your perfect clique." Everyone laughed because of the truth of the statement. I chuckled at the humor of it all, but it made me ponder... I don't have my perfect clique here. Ever since my freshman year of college, I have been without my clique. Oh sure, I fit in very well with many different cliques, I get along with many different personalities. I love my friends, and I love where I am in life. It's one thing that I really enjoy about myself—my ability to befriend most genres of personalities.

Sometimes, however, I sit in a large group and feel alone. I look around and feel like I'm looking through a glass pane. Sometimes I wish I had my own little clique that I could feel completely comfortable with all the time...that truly understand who I am and why I do the things I do.

Tonight I went to Yellow's apartment for some of bismark's curry. After I got there, I realized it was not only a curry party, but also a karaoke party. American Idol on Playstation. I enjoyed watching for awhile, then at one point leaned over to Yellow and mused, "Y'know, this is something that I wouldn't do." Upon seeing the look on his face, I continued, "Well, I would, given the right group of people. This just isn't that group." For the record, Yellow and bismark were the only people I even knew there. I had no desire to get up and make a fool of myself in front of a group of strangers. The very next song, bismark decided I was singing. I adamantly declined... over and over and over again. Finally, someone else sang.

I watched the next several songs, not having nearly as much fun. First, I felt silly for being so adamantly against it. Suddenly, I was the unsocial person. It made me remember when I first moved into this house when I determined I was going to be social. I consciously went out of my comfort zone to do things I normally wouldn't do with people I don't know, just to make a valid effort to make friends and be social. It was hard, but fun at the same time. Tonight, I realized that I had lost that desire... I don't do that anymore. I want to just be comfortable; I don't try to make things comfortable. Second, I kind of wanted to do it. I wanted to get up and sing. I wanted to be social. But I had already made my decision, and I knew I'd just feel stupid. Which was very stupid of me.

And on top of it all, I miss my high school friends... the friends that I felt utterly and completely myself with. The clique that defined me once upon a time. Oh clique... where hast thou gone?

Children say the most amazing things.

A friend of mine was just over here telling me a story about teaching 7 year olds:

Child 1: "Teacher, do worms make out?"
Teacher: "Uhhhh... I don't know."
Child 2: "No, they can't! They don't have faces."

So, just in case you've ever wondered if worms make out, now you know.

What's weighing on your shoulder?

I was on the elevator in the Joseph Smith Memorial Building the other day with a guy that was carrying a CPU on his shoulder.

DL: "That's quite a weight on your shoulder."
Man: "Yeah... I keep thinking I should get a laptop, but I just can't let this one go."
DL: "Well, you should probably get a monitor for that... balance out your weight."
Man: "Hmmm... that's a good idea. I'll consider that."

Then the elevator doors opened and we left. I was amused all day.

Cold and death

A dear friend of mine, England, came over today to show off his new car—a convertible. As we were ooh-ing and ahhh-ing over it, we slowly started to be cool and get inside of it. (We being The Heartless Siren, Chillylint, and myself.) This led to England deciding to take us for a spin. Top down, we took off. chillylint and I were in the backseat... and freezing. Did you know that in the back seat of a convertible, your hair doesn't blow back, as one would expect, but rather forward and in your face? I was reminiscent of cousin Itt, I'm sure. You know your hair is bad when you step out of a car and Laser Jock comments on the disheveledness of it.

Halfway through the trip, Chillylint started requesting hills. England found one. We peaked the top and started downhill. This was among the scariest moments of my life. It started quite exciting, but the closer we got to the bottom, with the speed we were gaining, the more frightening it became. Especially with Chillylint's fingers digging into my leg. There were screams, then "We're gonna die; we're gonna die; we're gonna die." Somehow, we made it to the bottom in all one piece.

I decided today that I love the thrill of amusement park rides. I just don't like the nausea that accompanies them. Props to the inventor of Dramamine.

Hallowmas

Brother decided that All Saints Day is a highly under-celebrated holiday. Everyone celebrates All Hallows Eve (Halloween) ... but why celebrate the evil day and not the saintly one? Thus the idea for a party was born.

Earlier this week:
Brother: "What kind of food should we have at our party?"
DL: "Swiss cheese--because it's holey."
Brother: [laughs] "Good idea!"

We then proceeded to list off all the food we could think of that was holey. Donuts, cheerios, fruit loops, bagels, etc.

Brother: "I kind of want something more substantial. I wonder if there is a patron saint of cooking."

Google search later...
DL: "Ok, we've got San Lorenzo. Patron of boiled foods. So... pasta, candy, etc."
Brother: "Pasta! Let's do it!"
DL: "Can we still have swiss cheese? Just for good measure?"
Brother: "Of course."

Later that night:
DL: Tells roommates and friends about the party.
The Cold One: "I want to see this web page."
DL: Shows her the web page.
The Cold One: "Groooossss!"
DL: "What?"
The Cold One: "He's the patron saint of boiled foods because of how he died?!"

Huh. Must have glossed over that. So I looked it up on Wikipedia. Here's the best part of the article:

It is said that Lawrence was burned or "grilled" to death. Legend says that he was so strong-willed that instead of giving in to the Romans and releasing information about the Church, at the point of death he exclaimed "I am done on this side! Turn me over and eat."

I emailed the page to Brother and suggested grilled chicken.

Later this week:
I had emailed Brother about something completely different. He replied and added, "I'll call you tomorrow about our barbecue. I'm thinking shish kabobs." I wrote him back simply, "You're sick."

We ate shish kabobs. They were actually quite tasty... if you didn't really think about it.

Why I want to get married...

... but not the only reason.

I want to be able to open the fridge and eat any food I so desire without having to ask permission. I want to rearrange my cupboards any way I choose. I want complete control over where things go and what populates my fridge and cupboards. (And by complete control, I mean my husband can also have control, but he must be forewarned, if he buys it and puts it in the kitchen, I have every right to eat it unless he has a very good reason and specifically asks me not to. Like, if he bought candy for his home teachees or something. I will do the same for him, of course.)

Is it a bad sign if my parenthetical aside (that was not scripted) is bigger than the rest of my post?

Waterfalls

Waterfalls are, by far, my most favorite natural beauty. I could sit and stare at a waterfall for hours. Whenever I see one, no matter how much of a rush I am in, I must hesitate, if even for a moment, to revel in the beauty of it.

Today I left work really late. I had to exit underground and come up by the Relief Society building. As I entered Temple Square Plaza, I had the choice to go straight out to North Temple, or to take a slight detour through the small garden area. I had an overwhelming need to feel a bit closer to God, so I chose the garden area. I walked slowly through, enjoying the greenery and the smell of the flowers. I stood for awhile, gazing at the temple, remembering the good things that the gospel has brought into my life. I finally headed out towards North Temple and just before you cross the road there was one last reminder to me of God's love--a waterfall. It's just a small waterfall. Most would probably call it a fountain or something. It's just running water cascading down variously placed bricks. As the water hit each brick, it was sent of in some other direction. With the many different levels of bricks, the water made a gorgeous cascading fall to the pool below. The sight touched me. I stopped walking and just stared at the waterfall, soaking it in. I couldn't help but think, y'know, it's the opposition of the bricks that make this waterfall beautiful. What a lesson to learn--that opposition is what makes life beautiful. It really was what I needed to hear right then. I need to know that there's a reason for all this opposition in my life. I was somewhat comforted by this thought as I walked the rest of the way to the parking garage.

And then, my car wouldn't start. I had left the lights on all day. [sigh] Go figure*.

*Ok, ok. Even this disheartening event that made me laugh to keep from crying helped me see God's hand in my life. It took a series of small miracles to get my car started... and to get my hood latched, because, of course, it decided to choose this day to break. So I suppose there you go--case in point. Two oppositions that laid out a handful of miracles sent just for me. That, in and of itself, is beautiful.

As Dragon Lady's World Turns, episode 57

For the first time in my life today, I realized the benefit of poetry. It's a way of expressing your innermost thoughts and emotions in a public forum without anyone having any idea of what you're talking about. It's got to be the most advanced form of code there is. Seriously, that's how we should send top secret messages during war. Though... our side wouldn't be able to decode them either... Scratch that idea.

Tragically, I have shunned obscure poetry enough that I have no idea how to write in this code.

It's a pretty good day

I woke up this morning late. I read an article someone had sent me that really upset me. I was listening to my iTunes favorites list on random and a rather melancholy song was on. I stopped and actually thought, "Huh. Today isn't looking good thus far. I need to decide if today is going to be a good or bad day. Methinks... it should be a good day." It's amazing how that little decision can actually effect the way a day goes. Anyway, point is, the second I made this decision, the song changed. This new song, "Good Day" by Luce, is one of my favorite songs that I listen to whenever I need to make my day better. It's just happy and has a rather catchy tune.

Thank you, iTunes, for reading my mood.

Too much to ask?

Chillylint often tells me, "I can do hard things!" I have decided to adopt that motto as my own. I'm not sure if it's because I've adopted that motto that God has decided to test it out, or if I decided to adopt the motto because I was being asked to do hard things. Either way, I've been asked to do several hard things in the past week or so. Some I have succeeded. Others I have failed miserably. I just keep telling myself that I can do hard things. Maybe someday I'll believe it. Then maybe someday I'll succeed.

God asked me to do something very hard last week. The first time He indicated that I would have to do it, it took me completely off guard. I quite forcefully told Him that He was wrong and that I didn't want to do it--it didn't need to be done. May I suggest never telling God that He's wrong? However, like Martin Harris, He let me do what I wanted. Thankfully my situation wasn't as traumatic as Martin Harris'. I went on believing that what I wanted was going to happen, and what God wanted me to do would not be necessary. Days later, the situation changed. I was still convinced that what I wanted was right. But as I prayed that night, God very gently reminded me of what I needed to do. I still didn't want to do it, but now I saw the wisdom behind it. Instead of having to follow God's direction blindly, I now saw why. Perhaps I should work on that. God can see further than I can. I should have trusted Him the first time. Luckily, God gives second chances. It took me three days, but I finally did it. Because I can do hard things. As much as I hated what I was doing, I felt at peace--I knew it was right.

You'd think that very hard thing would be enough, wouldn't you? That's enough hardness to last me months. Yet, it continues. There are ups; there are downs; there is clarity; there is confusion.

I just want to see the end right now. Is that too much to ask?
I just want to know what I should do now. Is that too much to ask?
I just want to know why I had to do this hard thing--I have my speculations, but mainly, they just cater to what I want, which thus far hasn't necessarily been what God wants--would it really change now? Is that too much to ask?
I just want to stop doing stupid things. Is that too much to ask?
I just want to make everything all better--for all parties involved. Is that too much to ask?
I just want a magic wand. Is that too much to ask?
I just want to be perfect. Is that too much to ask?

In the words of a good friend of mine, If you don't really know what I'm talking about, then you really don't know. Please don't speculate. Please don't ask.

Curiosity... why cats have 9 lives

I was having a discussion with friends the other day and decided to put the question out in the open.

When we Caucasians imitate Asian people, we stretch out the edges of our eyelids to make our eyes squinty. When Asians imitate Caucasians, do they push those corners in or at least open their eyes wider?

I don't understand girls who strive to be working women

I don't want to work anymore. At least not full time. I'm tired of being at a desk all day. I'm tired of trying to solve problems all day long. I'm tired of finding more problems in an attempt to solve one. It doesn't give me the same thrill that it used to. Perhaps it's the hour it takes to get here and the other hour it takes to go home. Perhaps it's that I'm by myself and not surrounded by friends who I can laugh and joke with. Perhaps I'm just worn out. Perhaps it's because I haven't been getting enough sleep, so I'm too tired to deal with life. I would just quit and apply at BYU, because I'm fairly certain they'd still hire me. I mean, why not give up my night and weekend life? What better things do I have to do? [groan] Ok, that was just a ridiculous thought.

It's not that I have anything against working. It's simply that I'm against having it take up so much of my life. I would rather be perfecting my homemaking skills, so that someday, a handsome prince will come by and will be smitten with my cooking and wicker basket on the counter, and can't help but sweep me away to his castle on his white horse. And how can I perfect those skills if I only have a few free hours a day? Especially when those hours are spent trying to magnify my calling? [sigh]

If it weren't for the fact that I need insurance and money to pay off school and car debts, I'd totally find a part time job in Provo... at a bookstore or something... and enjoy living life.

Some things never cease to make me laugh

I attended Humble Master's reception long ago, and his cake topper was so perfect that I quite literally laughed out loud. He sent me the picture today, making me laugh yet again. He's really bad about updating his blog, so I decided to put it on mine. Because everyone should see it. And who doesn't need a good laugh?



Yes, yes, the groom is Superman. Don't you love the look on the bride's face? "[sigh] Again? Must you really save the world on our wedding day?" Now, if that weren't good enough, the bride is actually Buffy the Vampire Slayer repainted to be modest and in white. Veil and bouquet also added. Here's a close up...



I wonder if I could just as successfully incorporate Harry Potter into my some day wedding reception...

Why I should count my many blessings...

Well, the good news is, at least I looked cute

My boss asked me to bring some computers from our Orem office to SLC on Thursday. We were bouncing around from place to place for meetings, so I agreed to drive and bring them. As I got ready for work, I dropped my toothpaste lid down the sink drain, ne'er to be retrieved. Halfway to Orem, I realized I had left my glasses at home which would guarantee me a headache. At this point, I thought to myself, "Man, everything is pointing to a bad day, but I'm in such a good mood! No bad day for me!" I collected the computers and went on my merry way.

Please indulge me as I break out into song (changing a lyric or two):

I was driving along, minding my business,
When out of an orange-colored sky,
Crash! Bam! Alakazam!

It was rush hour, but going strong at a steady 45-50 mph. Apparently, at 12300 S. traffic bottlenecks and comes to a complete standstill. I did not know this. All I knew was that the car in front of me was suddenly too close and not going nearly fast enough. I slammed on my brakes, but the second I did, I knew it was too late. Sure enough, I hit the guy in front of me, who, in turn hit the guy in front of him, who hit the girl in front of him. The front two cars were stopped, the guy in front of me estimates he was at about 30 mph. By the amount of damage to my car, the cop estimated I was going about 15 mph faster than him, so we estimate I was going around 45 mph. My front bumper came off. My front end was smashed in enough that my antifreeze is now all over the freeway. My airbags deployed. The cover over my light in the back window popped off.

The whole time I was out talking to the other drivers, I was shaking, my chest hurt where the seatbelt had done its job, but otherwise I was fine. The nice guy in front of me gave me his jacket to help me stop shaking, even though it wasn't really all that cold. I got back in my car to find it filled with air-bag smoke, which was really gross, so I rolled down all my windows. When the cops showed up, they stopped traffic to push us all over to the right shoulder. (We had been in the fast lane, but not HOV lane.) Then they gave us all paperwork to fill out. At this point, I hit emotional breakdown point. When I finally had time to just sit, when my adrenaline wore off, when I was all by myself, I suddenly started crying and couldn't stop. At this point, I realized that I needed to call my boss to tell him that I'd be late for our meeting. I then realized that I had no one's phone numbers from work in my cell phone. Chillylint to the rescue, and I started making calls. May I just say that it's difficult to tell your boss that you'll be late for work while trying desperately not to cry? Yeah... it doesn't work. And that was just on his voicemail. Ugh. I'm such a girl. I also realized that I needed to call my mom, but I knew that if I did, I'd just start crying harder, and the cop kept coming by, and I wanted to stop crying. Though, perhaps it helped me in the end because the cop was really nice to me and only gave me a warning citation, so I didn't have to pay for anything. And he let me sit in his car after my car was towed until my ride got there.

While filling out my paperwork, I realized my insurance card was expired. I knew I still had insurance, just hadn't moved my newest card out yet. My paperwork required dates, so I called my insurance company to get the current dates. The main office must have let my agent know, who then called my mom to find out if I was ok after my "fender bender." My poor mother had no idea what he was talking about, since I had yet to call her. I'm sure that's not how any mother wants to hear that her baby girl has gotten into a car wreck. So she called me. Luckily, it was after my uncle had picked me up. Even more lucky, he had a box of tissues in his truck.

Within the next hour my neck, back, and left hip started to hurt, not to mention the raging headache that was growing. At least I'm smart and carry ibuprofen around with me. I slowly worked my way home. Quite literally. I started at the Church Office Building, made it halfway home to a luncheon, went a little further where I met my brother, who took me the rest of the way home.

I have the greatest friends ever. Within hours I had at least 8 people stop by to bring me get-well packages, to give blessings, to bring well-wishes, to just randomly stop by at the right moment, or, most importantly, to just give me a hug and hold me. I think that love really must have a healing power. I really do have the greatest friends. I'm also incredibly grateful for the power of the priesthood and for the worthy elders who are willing to use that power.

It's been decided that I'm a walking miracle. The simple fact that the airbag didn't do more damage than a small bump and scratch (and two broken nails) apparently is a miracle in and of itself. I could go on and on about how lucky I am and the miracles I've seen. The biggest of all is the rate at which I've been healing. Yes, I am still sore, and I have my moments/days that are worse than others. But really, I'm much better than I should be. And I count my blessings daily for this fact.

Now I just have to work on getting over my pride of being so dependent upon other people. I hate not having a car. But alas... I prefer this to being dead or or paralyzed or something.

PS - Pictures to come as soon as the ridiculous towing company known as Cottonwood towing stops being ridiculous and I actually get over my car to take pictures.

Randomness...

I was cleaning out my purse today. There was an AA battery in there. I have no idea how it got there. I have no recollection of even touching a battery recently. Perhaps someone has seen the scredriver man episode of Monk recently and is imitating it... trying to make me (and others) think I'm going crazy. Sadly, it wouldn't be hard to do.

A sentimental souvenier... priceless

So, some days, I ridiculously epitomize the title of 'girl.'





Back in June, whilst I was traversing abroad, I bought a ring in Bethlehem.











Yesterday, it shattered into fourths. And then we lost one piece of it.





Today I walked into my living room, and out of habit, started playing with my ring. Except... it wasn't there. And I was sad. See, even the broken ring looks sad.

Yes. I am a silly girl... sad over a ring that cost me a grand total of one dollar.

Fire! Fire!

Things I've learned in the last half hour:

1. The plastic on tea pots will melt if left on the burner too long.
2. Melted plastic starts fires.
3. There is no button to turn off the smoke detector.
4. If there is ever a real fire, Desdemona will not hear the smoke detector. Thus, it is the responsibility of my other roommate and I to save Desdemona from impending doom.
5. Melted plastic doesn't come off easily.
6. Dried and hardened melted plastic chips off beautifully.
7. SOS pads do a better job of cleaning up remnants of melted plastic on a metal range than does a scratchy sponge.
8. Melted plastic is like unto charcoal on countertops. If you brush it off, it will leave black streaks.
9. Soft Scrub with bleach is magic and will clean off those black streaks.
10. I am very grateful that we replaced the battery in the smoke detector quite recently.

The end.

Autumn should be a gradual process

I thought I was excited for the season change. Yesterday I was thrilled to finally wear a sweater outside in the afternoon without dying of heat exhaustion. The I woke up this morning. Thermostat read 62 degrees for my house. My closet was probably 10 degrees colder than that. I realized I don't have any dressy jackets--only my dressy winter coat, so I'm wearing my BYU windbreaker today. I got out to my car to find frost on my windshield. I scraped my windshield for the first time in many, many months. It hit me that I'll probably have to do this every morning this winter, since I leave so stinkin' early. My boss suggested I put a canvas over my windshield, then I just have to pull it off, no frost, no snow. This is an idea. I'll have to look into buying a canvas. Basically, I'm not as convinced anymore that I'm ready for winter.

Today was a crazy bus day. We got to UVSC and the guy across the aisle from me got nauseous and made the bus driver pull over in the round about to let him off. Just before the driver started to pull off again, people started yelling that we had a runner. So the driver opened his door again to let another guy on. Finally, we were off again. Problem is, by pulling the bus over in the round about, he wasn't able to fully make the turn. So we ended up driving around UVSC and not getting onto the freeway until Orem. The two guys sitting across the aisle (the one being the runner) started talking and discovered they both had unusual names. The one was named Adrien (or whatever the male spelling is) and the other, Fred. Apparently Fred's wife has told him that his name isn't a person's name--it should be reserved for plants and dogs. Part of me wants to name my next plant Fred in his honor.

Once again, I struggled sleeping on the bus. I finally fell asleep, just to make it difficult to wake up come Salt Lake. Don't you worry, though, the cool, crisp air did a fabulous job of waking me up as I walked from the bus stop to my building. I think they may have the north entrance open again... I should check that out so I can go back to my old stop.

I'm excited to drink hot cocoa today. Chillylint, may I join you on your morning adventure?

but... but... why???

Why can't we all just be happy?

Why must we assume that the world is out to get us?

Why do we not think we deserve good things?

Why do we make life harder than it is?

Why do we let drama play such a prominent role?

Why can't we realize that most things are not personal attacks?

Why can't we all just be happy?

Dare to be different

I slept diagonally across my bed last night. Because it was queen sized. And because I could.

Now you know... and knowing is half the battle

I was talking to Chillylint today about how funny I am. (Her words, not mine.) I concluded that every tragic dating moment has added humor to my personality in order to keep my sanity. I tried to convince her that it was quantity, not quality, that was important in this gift, hence why I am more funny than she. This post* is to convince her. And because I don't really want to go to bed or pack.

- Puppy Love: Kindergarten I was in love with him... I think. At least, rumor on the street is that we kissed. Though... I have no recollection of this. And I remember denying it. Then, his house burned down and he left me to move to Washington. Jerkface.

- All the boys in elementary, middle, and high school that dated my friends and not me. Especially all the boys I had crushes on. You probably don't know who you are. Their tragic moments are in the sin of omission.

- Catholic Boy: The one non-Mormon I really knew growing up. I had a crush on him from when he moved in in 5th grade until he moved out in 8th grade. He paid me no heed except when we were competing in band. He dated the cute, popular girl. He ended up committing suicide while I was in China... because another girl I knew wouldn't marry him because he wasn't LDS and she wanted to marry in the temple.

- Jolly Green Giant: I suffered through weeks of illness for him. That's tragic to be sure. He broke up with me so that he could move off to college and date other girls. He told me he was too good for me because he was in college and I was in high school. He ended up hating me because I maybe trashed his room. (He asked for it... quite literally. The hypocrite.) He was the reason I almost stopped pranking. What a tragedy that would have been! You would not know me as Dragon Lady today...

- Juan: Conveniently forgot about me when I was most enamored with him. Emailed my friend instead of me. Caused me serious stress and grief while trying to decide if I should date someone seriously in high school. Was a horrible writer on his mission, even though I was a good girlfriend (though I wouldn't admit to being his girlfriend) and sent him packages. Built me up, made me think I would marry him, then broke up with me at his homecoming. And after I sprained my big toe for him! After several months, we both ended up in Provo where we started talking again... and he was all moody and pessimistic about about dating. And his big head swelled to unhealthy proportions. We had a fight or two. We stopped talking for about a year. He showed back up in my life a month or two ago. Bringing back all sorts of emotions that I didn't want to feel towards him. At a time when I was trying to focus on someone else. That was really hard.

- 4-fingered Man: First, imagine dating someone with only four fingers on one hand. We drifted apart—I thought it was a mutual drifting. But then we had a class together in college and he thought we were still dating. Awkward. We played Junior High where our mutual friend, The Goblin King, was forced to relay messages. I finally told him I couldn't date him—he was going on a mission and I didn't want to wait for a missionary. (Conveniently not mentioning that I had just sent off Juan a month prior.) He put on a huge show of being heartbroken and how there would not be another for him. A week later The Goblin King spotted him on campus holding hands with another girl. At his farewell, he told me I couldn't have a testimony because I wasn't decisive.

- Secret Admirer: Stalked me. Sent me secret admirer messages. Made me wonder if someone was looking through my windows. Made me go on a scavenger hunt to discover his identity for our first date. Turned out to be my FHE brother. Made me conceal his identity. I only called him by his middle name to my roommates for a month. I was about brutally murdered when they learned the truth. Made a bet with me, I forgave him for losing twice. When he lost again, I declared myself the winner—he never paid up. I found out I was the topic of discussion in a panel of guys in his dorm put together to make decisions for all boys on their floor. And not just me... but the future of SA and I. After an argument about it just prior to Christmas, he stopped talking to me. And didn't tell me. (Obviously, he wasn't talking to me... how could he tell me?) I didn't realize what had happened for a few weeks. Spent an entire semester trying to figure out how to get him to say hello to me. He ended up marrying one of my favorite people from China. He still doesn't talk to me.

- Ferris Bueller: Fell for his wit and charm. He was my prince for a dance. He didn't fall for me. I was the swooning type; he was not the catching type.

- All the guys that didn't ask me on dates for my first 2.5 years of college. Again, sin of omission.

- Temple Boy: Perfect in many ways. Except, we didn't talk much. We just dated. For two weeks. The first one in my two week curse. I blame him for it all. He was the instigator, you see. Major flaw: everyone loved him... except me.

- Shaky Fingers: Didn't notice me in class until 2 weeks before class ended. The class had, maybe, 15-20 people in it. Made me physically ill a couple of times. First guy that I really dated that I knew I really shouldn't date. Made me watch March Madness scores update on his computer. I helped him with his white glove—cleaning an entire house inhabited by boys. Ugh. Moved after two weeks of dating. #2 in the curse.

- Trend Breaker: Held my hand on our first real meeting. Broke up with me for a reason I can't argue with and complimented me more in breaking up than most guys do in dating. I couldn't even hate him to get over my pain. I had to watch him, two weeks later, date, get engaged to, and marry another girl in our ward. He was the first guy to last more than two weeks in my college life. (Though, there was no friendship period first, which most guys have.) He lasted three. He was also the first to really break my heart.

- Accent: Took me to see Hitch. Awkward date. He asked me if I was going to play with my keys while we were at my door. Then asked if we could go on a walk.

- Pen pal: Got me to kiss him on a second date. Against all my better judgment. Then left for the Army early the next morning.

- Hebrew River Valley: Good friend turned boyfriend. Better as friends. Broke up with me at... you guessed it... two weeks. Now constantly asks me for girl advice.

- Black, not Sirius: most awkward date of my entire life. We talked about homosexuals, got lunch at Sensuous Sandwich, he informed me the bright green trim on his house was because they were turning the house into female housing, he wasn't hungry so put his sandwich in the fridge, then watched me eat mine. Put in a cartoon movie, then proceeded to give me a hand massage. Requested I return the favor. Sat too close, even when I moved to the other side of the couch. Awkward.

- Granola Bar: Day after two weeks, I rejoiced because it was two weeks and there was no end in sight. He broke up with me that night. Guy number two to truly break my heart. Only bright part—it ended the barrage of worry and concern from my parents who feared I would also turn into granola. Salt in the wound: I had gone so long without eating sugar that when I ate chocolate to comfort myself, it made me sick. It's one thing to break up with me for a reason I can't argue with, and to not hate him at all, or even dislike him; it's quite another to take away my comfort food.

- BMW (for those of you from work, this is not the same BMW that used to work in the Dungeon): Got me attached; refused to commit. Ran away at times of potential commitment. May or may not have lasted two weeks. Depends on when you start counting.

- Olive Wood: Was partly the innocent-scapegoat for my emotional breakdown last week, even though he did nothing wrong and was completely unaware... which made it worse cuz I couldn't really blame him, even though I wanted to. And because I miss him right now. And he doesn't know how to Apparate to remedy the situation. Rude.

- Anyone who should have made this list, but got forgotten: for not being memorable enough.

Honestly, Chillylint... and you wonder why I'm so incredibly funny?! Sometimes I wonder about you....


*Some of these stories, though all true, may have been slightly dramatized for effect. But only slightly. So, if you happen to be one of my ex's (which would be really random), and I say something you don't like about you, please feel free to debate me openly or in private. You should all know how to get a hold of me. If not, shame on you. Also, please note, I'm only listing tragedies here. I don't have time to list all the good stuff. Remember, there was something about all of these guys that made me like them enough to date them. I can honestly say that every single one of them were amazing guys. I promise. Really... this blog was written in good fun, with a jovial spirit, and no intention of slandering any soul.

I hate packing

I'm on a 5-day business trip right now. I packed everything in one little rolling suitcase and my laptop case. Everyone was shocked. And not because I typically pack a lot or anything, but because they couldn't fathom five days with such a small suitcase. I think they're all crazy. Really, what more could I need? I needed 2 dresses, 1 pair of dressy-slacks, a couple of t-shirts, a pair of jeans (that I wore there), and pjs. I needed a few toiletries (but remember that shampoo, etc., is provided by the hotel) including my hair dryer and curling iron. (Turns out the hair dryer was unnecessary—there's one on the wall by the sink.) My two pairs of dress shoes took up the most room. (Yes, I admit, I could have gotten by with one... but then I would have had to pick a different dress... and it was 2 am. Consider it my space splurge.) I packed a Book of Mormon, figuring I didn't need my quad, and then I had one in case I had an opportunity to give it away. I packed Myst as my leisure reading. I even packed an external hard drive that took up about a fourth of my suitcase. Really, though, what else did I need? And if it all fits into a carry-on... why pack something I'll have to check? That's silly.

Am I really that weird?

Pre-bedtime thought...

Someday, when I'm married, I want to stay at a Residence Inn. This experience just wants to be shared. It's not the same by my lonesome. It's incredible, but it screams adventure and company. I want to order groceries through the hotel and cook in my hotel room. I want to rent a car and drive somewhere, just to drive somewhere. I want to tour the city on foot. I want to cuddle up on the couch and watch a movie. I want to explore the hotel and whisper secrets about the people we see. I want to sleep in and stay up late. I want to just have a vacation, with no point to it, just to stay for a week at a hotel in some new city with someone that I can play with.

Peter Panning

I'm supposed to be updating my real life blog... I struggle. I was catching up on reading blogs today. I've gotten so far behind and had some extra time today. I got to one and as I was reading, I gasped internally when I saw real names and pictures of the person. Then I realized that blogs are not limited to people hiding behind a nym. This is silly that I needed this realization, since I have a real blog with real names and pictures on it. Even sillier because I'm pretty certain that most people who read this blog also know me in real life.

Sometimes I wish I had a really anonymous blog that had an audience. Even this supposedly anonymous blog is personal for every other Board writer and many readers. I even sent the link to my sister who doesn't read the Board so that she can keep up on my life, since I'm way behind on my real life blog. I think of things sometimes that I want to tell people, but I don't want people I know to read. Why is that? They're not bad things. I would have no problem saying them to someone I don't know well. A coworker, perhaps. But to those people that matter most, I hide them. To be honest, I can't even think of an example right now. But I know there was one that spurred this thought in my head. Apparently I really wanted to blog about it... [rolls eyes]

I'm having a great week. I'm out of town for a business trip. I'm staying in the most amazing hotel room, complete with a full kitchen (I even have a dishwasher!), a living room with a couch and fireplace, queen sized bed, and nice bathroom. They feed me a good breakfast and dinner. I'm enjoying the alone time, doing whatever I want... though, I've realized I'm too addicted to chat and talking to the people I love most. I've had good, productive days. I've learned new tricks, and I've gained a knowledge about our site out here that will help me communicated better in the future, and hopefully get things working more smoothly. I'm going to a conference tomorrow that will hopefully give me enough knowledge for me to secure another business trip sometime in the future to Hawaii. We'll see. (wishful thinking anyway.) Somehow, though, I'm still missing home. (Home meaning Provo, which, really has become my second home.) As crazy busy as my life is there, there are things there that I've learned to count on... and I'm missing them. A lot. Thank goodness for little things that can be done long-distance that make me smile. :)

I saw a billboard this morning for a grocery store. It said, "Home of the original Apple Macintosh," and had a picture of a barrel of apples. It made me laugh really hard.

There's a boy at the site I was working at the last two days doing a service mission. He sat next to me for several hours this morning. He's in a wheelchair and my first thought was, unfortunately, judgmental. But after today, I realized that he is incredibly bright and funny.
I feel rather stupid about my initial, unconscious judgment. I haven't laughed that hard at work for a long time. It made me realize that I miss working in the Dungeon... I miss working with people my age.

I don't want to grow up. I want to go back to being irresponsible and putting off my 10 page papers to the day before. I want to stay up all night and fall asleep in my Hebrew class of four the next morning. I want to not know what to major in and just take classes for fun. I really want to take basket weaving again and join another bowling league. I want to be busy doing homework in the evening instead of having my evenings free and everyone else doing homework. Ok... maybe not really. I like my job. I like my paycheck. I like not having the stress of deadlines and school. But I don't like moving onto the next stage of life without everyone else.

Wow... this makes me sound depressed or something. I'm so not. I am in a fabulous mood. I am loving life. I had a hard weekend last week, so this week is incredible by simple comparison. I randomly laugh just thinking about how things just slide off my back today that last week would have sent me into tears. I'm so glad that I'm not an emotional girl all the time. Boo to emotional weeks. (I think I know a person or two who will boo with me...) Cheers to happy weeks! (I just had a quote from the Village pop into my head... I don't know all of it... but here's one part: "I love you like the day is long!" Perhaps it's cruel of me, but I think that part is really funny. hehehe)

Special thank you's to all of you out there who bring smiles to my face. And a hug to all those who make me laugh and giggle. I can't wait till this weekend when we can all smile, laugh, and giggle all together again!

The wheels on the bus go round and round...

I hit snooze this morning the appropriate number of times. Then came the mistake--I got back into bed. I woke up again at 6:25. I have to leave my house before 6:30 in order to catch my bus. Needless to say, no makeup, no full water bottle, no breakfast, snack or lunch. (I did manage to grab the bag of cookies I made last night.) I was pulling out of my driveway at 6:28. I even had enough time to stand in line at the bus stop and wait for the bus to show up.

You'd think I would have been able to sleep on the bus today. I rarely have problems with sleeping on the bus in the morning. But alas, little things kept my sleepy eyes open for most of the trip. Even when they weren't open my brain was active. You know the songs where they take a bunch of random items and make music, such as the Blue Man Group banging on trash cans at the beginning of a movie to show how cool the sound system of that theater is? That was my bus this morning. I could have sworn the girl next to me was slapping her arm and snapping in a rather catchy rhythm. But every time I looked over, she was sitting very still, probably asleep, and the sound continued. I'm thinking it was something to do with the metal and window right there. At the same time, there was metal clanging from somewhere up by the driver, as well as the gentle hum of the bus. Then, there is the random and mysterious melodic tune that sounds from the front of the bus. It's on every 801 that I've ever ridden. And it's rather loud. Typically wakes me up. Grrr... I've always wondered what it is and what it's for. Anyone? Anyone?

As soon as we got onto the freeway, a deaf guy that rides the bus walked up to the driver and asked her to turn off the lights. Being deaf, his speech was hard to understand. I'm not sure she understood, but he didn't wait to find out. As soon as he had made his request, he turned and walked back. The driver, looking slightly confused, pushed a button so something started ringing. I wonder if she was calling UTA headquarters to ask how to turn off the lights because, when no one answered the ringing, she started playing with all the buttons on her dashboard. The only thing she accomplished was to turn the A/C on higher. Good thing I grabbed my sweater in my random choice of clothing this morning.

I know I saw every temple on the way up. I think I fell asleep somewhere just past Jordan River. Mostly because I remember waking up to a kinked neck and my big tube of paper I was carrying falling to the floor. The nice boy across the isle got it for me. At one stop in SLC, our driver turned away someone trying to get on the bus, because really, he'd just have to stand. But by this time, we were in the Free Fare Zone, so every bus stops at every stop. She recommended he get the next one. The North side of the COB is closed for cleaning until Conference, so I decided to try getting off at the previous stop, to see if it was faster. I watched the bus and the people walking to the COB that certainly got off at the normal stop. I beat them by about 30 seconds. Further walk, though. Not sure which is more worth it. At least, in heels. If I could wear my chacos, the decision would be easy. The elevator ride was uneventful.

As I sat down at my desk, I realized how many things I have to do. It's incredible. Especially since I'll be gone all next week on a business trip. Yipes. It'll be a busy day. I decided to get things running that take forever and my computer does on its own. Yesterday I had my coworker finish unzipping some files for me, since I had to run to a meeting. I opened the folder first thing this morning. Typically, it unzips into folders. Nope. Not today. After a half an hour of putting files into folders, I still have almost 3,000 files sitting in here, waiting to be organized.

All this before 8 am.

Watch out day... here I come.

Becoming too dependent...

I wanted to talk about something tonight... to write... to express my feelings. My first thought was, "Oh, I'll write about it on my blog!" And then I realized, I didn't want just anyone to read it. It was personal—definitely not something for the world to read. In fact, I wasn't sure I wanted anyone to read it. For a minute, I didn't know what to do... I was a little sad about not being able to talk it out. And that's when I realized that I spend too much time on things like the Board and blogs. I need to focus more time and energy on writing in my journal and keeping a private record of all the things I feel like I need to talk to someone about.

If you need me, you can call me... or can you?

The concept of long distance seems foreign to me now. I've had a cell phone with a nationwide plan for so long now that I forget that some places cost more money to call. I went to give a friend my work number today and realized that she couldn't just call me from a campus phone... because it's long distance. Cell phones are taking over the world, and even many landline plans now include free long distance. So why don't they just get rid of the concept of long distance? ... honestly... money hungry [grumble, grumble]...

Not always a small world...

I got on the elevator at work today with six other people. Every single one of us pushed a different button for a different floor.

Weird.

O- to A+

I found out today that I can't donate blood again until next July. And all because I took one little felucca ride on the Nile. Apparently mosquitoes don't bite you if you stand next to the Nile as opposed to being on the Nile. What nice mosquitoes they are. [rolls eyes]

I am very sad.

This is a plea to anyone who reads my blog. Will you please go donate blood for me? Pretty, pretty please with honey and sugar on top? It would make me incredibly happy. Really, it would.

The Young and the Foolish, episode 01

I can't get away from soap opera* and drama. If it's not in my own life, it's manifest in the lives of my dear friends. For most of my dating life, I have defined my stories with the title As Dragon Lady's World Turns, Episode ##, filling in the ## with some large and random number. Recently, my personal soap opera has been discontinued and I have turned my free time to watching someone else's real life drama. Knowing many of the actors personally has made it a very new experience for me. I'm not used to seeing both sides of the story. It's caused me to seriously think about things in dating that I had never before considered. I saw relationships in a whole new light as I watched two people interpret the exact same event so differently. I also had insights into dating and marriage in general that really made me stop and think. I'm too tired tonight to explain more, but as I think of things that I think would be helpful for more people to think about while dating, I'll post again, with a subject similar to this.

Note to self

If you fall asleep on the bus, don't drool.

Green Doritos in the Moon

I watched the lunar eclipse this morning. After four hours of sleep, I slept-walked to the park with a roommate and a friend. Upon arrival, we discovered that the sprinklers had beat us there, so spreading out on the grass was not an option. Unless, of course, you had a great desire for hypothermia or more likely, as Friend argued, frostbite. Instead, we set up the telescope, chair and blankets on the sidewalk that cuts down the middle. I selfishly kept all four blankets to make me a little bed and promptly cuddled under my own blanket to enjoy the moon in phases--whenever I could convince my eyes to open--and to listen in on Roommate and Friend's conversation, chipping in whenever I found the energy to think of something to say.

You know the moment, an hour or so after you wake up, when something triggers a memory of a dream you had... you can remember bits and pieces, you can remember that it once made sense and you can remember how you felt... but you can't remember the details that made it such? I had such a moment, but with real life in my semi-conscious state. Friend and Roommate were discussing the color of the moon due to the refraction of the sun's light around the earth. Somehow, I believed they were discussing this topic, using it as symbology for the gospel. I distinctly remember the comparison between all of this and Satan, God and Christ. I remember thinking how insightful they were and how it all made sense. I love analogies and symbology. Roommate is very good at them, so it didn't surprise me at all that they were discussing it. Then I drifted off to sleep. When I woke up later to move to a better place to view the moon, they started asking what conversations I was awake for. Turns out that they did, in fact, discuss the refraction of light, but they had not compared it to the gospel at all. All of that was in my own head. I remember the vague topic; I remember that I was impressed and that it made perfect sense. I do not remember how they tied together. Perhaps when I'm more awake I'll actually think about it and receive that inspiration yet again.

My favorite part of the eclipse was when the sunlight started hitting the moon. It was so bright and beautiful. It was such a stark contrast to the hazy, reddish light that we had been watching for half an hour. Roommate described it beautifully when she said, "It looks like someone's pulling the top off a pudding pop!" I had to gently remind her that the moon is made out of cheese--not pudding. (It is too! Just ask Wallace and Gromit.)

I finally left an hour and a half after I first left my house, with twenty minutes to walk home, get ready for the day (I was still in my pjs), and leave for work. I didn't even get to finish the eclipse. Miraculously, I made it. I'm a little groggy today, but a sweet little angel brought me all sorts of delicious snacks that have kept me awake enough to function. Bless her. Oh, and I was able to sleep on the bus again. :)

What is it about the lights in the heavens that make this all worth it?

Buffalo

I was at the temple yesterday and saw a menu for the cafeteria. The first line on Tuesday's menu said, "We all have a bit of a wild side in us…"

Just not something I would expect to read in the temple…

"It never fails--take a bath and there's a rub at the lamp"

Why is it that I can go all week without a single phone call after 9 pm, then, the one night I decide to go to bed at 9 so that I can wake up early enough to shower, eat breakfast, and get ready before work--without feeling like a zombie--I get two phone calls after 9?

I do not blame either person for calling me--in fact, I was hoping for both phone calls. (Please forgive me, both of you, for either being groggy while talking, or simply silencing my phone. Please know that I was half asleep and can take no responsibility for my actions.) I am not trying to discourage people from calling me after nine. (It is very, very rare for me to be in bed that early.) Rather, I'm simply musing about the effect of Murphey's Law in my life.

"Is this just another miscommunication we are having here?"

When my parents were first married, my dad told my mom that the only vegetable he preferred canned to frozen were green beans. My mom interpretted this to mean that he preferred everything except green beans frozen.

So, trying to be a good little wife, she started freezing all of her vegetables except green beans, which she canned.

One year, many years down the road, my mom's cousin got married. This cousin loved canned carrots. In fact, she loved them so much that my mom decided she would can a bunch for her as a wedding present. When the batch was done, Mom found one jar that didn't seal.

Well, she couldn't exactly give an unsealed jar, so she decided to eat it instead. Upon tasting the canned carrots, she realized that she really enjoyed them--much more so than the frozen carrots. She mentioned her liking of them to my dad at dinner, to which he replied, "Oh, I've always liked canned carrots better than frozen."

[rolls eyes]

So, for all those years, both of my parents preferred canned carrots to frozen, yet, due to a miscommunication, only ate carrots that had been stored in the freezer.

Gravity's pull on my life

It has been a very random last several days. I think the earth's axis has tilted .0000031 degrees, only knocking a few things out of place:

- I slept so soundly in a car that my phone rang right next to me and I didn't wake up to it.
- Yesterday at work I spoke a grand total of 8 words: "Shhh! I have a dress in the bag!" Without context, that being the only thing I said makes it even more random.
- I had to politely and gently shoot down two of my former suitors yesterday. Why do they always come in droves like this? Flood or famine...
- I saw a store marquee on the way home from work that read, "Buy a butter, get a jam." It makes sense... but it still sounds funny.
- Every time the bus driver opened the door, I think his microphone turned on and we heard his breathing. Either that or Darth Vader took over the microphone. I'm not entirely sure which.
- I got to bed by 10:30 last night. I'm actually arguably awake today.
- I got nine hours of sleep Saturday night. And still couldn't stay awake at all Sunday... or Monday either, for that matter.
- I haven't remembered the majority of my dreams for the past month. The only one I even vaguely remember related to Hermione trying to escape Cormack at Slughorn's party--we were listening to HP 5 in the car while driving. However, all I remember is a big white circle floating around. And that it somehow related to the above-mentioned scene.
- I cleaned out my Gmail inbox from 133 messages to 7. In two days. I'm pretty impressed with myself.
- I actually have work to do at work. Imagine.

Reason #267 why I'm glad I'm short

I'm at my sister's house. This morning I went to take a shower and chose the one upstairs by all the kids' rooms. This shower head was designed for either the shortness of these kids or perhaps a midget that surely once lived here. I've never been considered a tall person--in any sense of the word. Yet, I still had to bend my knees and crouch to get my head under the shower head. I am fairly certain that I have never before had to crouch to fit under a shower head. I have a new-found empathy for tall people.

Just around the river bend...

Today was among the best days I've had. First, I had the day off work. Because I'm a real person now, I got paid to not go to work today. How crazy is that? So, I attempted to sleep in. Tragically, my body doesn't know how to sleep past 6:30 anymore, so between 6:30 and 9, it was more like a half-sleep where I simply didn't want to get up. Finally, around 9, I got up, got dressed, filled up my car with gas (it's been running on empty for several days now), and got the oil changed in my car. It's been due since June. Yipes! But, good news, it was free. I saw Jack at the dealership... the guy that is 15 years older than me and my brothers were trying to set me up with. Last decision: when I'm 25 and he's 40, if we're both still single, he'll take me on a date. Ha! We talked for a few minutes, laughed about stories he heard from Brother about Jerusalem... or, rather, Jordan, then I went back to reading the Book of Atrus and he went back to work. So then I read for the 30 minutes I waited for my oil change, which was really nice. I've missed reading. And I rather like this book. So it was nice to have a chance to just sit and read. Then my mom called, so as I ran more errands, I talked to her for the next half hour. I really like my mom. She really has been my best friend my entire life. I finally stopped at Michaels and bought the jars I've been promising Brother I'd buy to put our dirt from around the Middle East in. Then it was answering Board questions and emails, chatting with good friends, then trimming the hedges. That went much easier than expected, but my arms still shook afterwards from holding the trimmer for so long. The hedges look 100 times better now, but if you look closely, the one right out front resembles a bad male-haircut. It makes me smile. It was my first time trimming hedges. Give me a break.

Then it was time for a nice, long, relaxing shower. I even shaved my legs so that I could wear capris all day. Yay... Not wanting to spend a half hour making my hair look decent, I ignored it and got back online for a wee bit. Twenty minutes or so later, I realized that I had to leave soon, so I should probably do something with my hair. 10 minutes later, I had the fastest and easiest hair style of my life. I think it may have even looked good. I wonder if I could ever duplicate it... My roommate made dinner—the most amazing chicken noodle vegetable soup ever. And poppy bread. Oh, it was divine. Even had homemade noodles. (She also made symphony brownies that morning... which were also divine.) Just before dinner, an old friend of mine showed up, so we invited him to eat with us, then headed over to Kiwanis for a rousing game of croquet. I ended up being the third person to make poison but died soon thereafter. I love croquet. I think it's one of my favorite games. Uffish... we really need to go play in front of the library.

Returning home, I wasn't ready to stop playing games, so out came Sorry. Traditional style, I came in 2nd place. (Out of three... ehh...) Adult style, I came in 1st. Apparently I play better as an adult than a child. I have more strategy than luck, I suppose. Yellow then came over and [enter the bad part of the day... yet one of those things that will definitely be laughed at later] while opening my screen door, got stung by a bee. I'm sure he'll write about it in his blog. We decided he was gallant because, if he hadn't been stung, one of us would have been. We gave him ice to stop the swelling, then headed over to Olympus' for a pie party. My piece of pie was delicious. I re-met a girl that I met at a summer program at Ricks when I was still in high school. There were some great memories tied up with her. I spent the evening in great company; it was my favorite company to spend time with. Happy and comfortable. Content, even. It's a pity that it was limited to just a few hour this evening.

I looked up the Hebrew for 'gnashing' tonight. Turns out it really is simply translated as 'gnashing' or 'grinding the teeth.' Perhaps I should study my vocab more.

The night couldn't have ended better. I checked my email before bed to find a completely unexpected email that made me very happy. In the words of my roommate on a completely unrelated matter earlier today, "There is a God, and he loves me." Sometimes, God answers prayers in completely unexpected times, ways and places. Tonight was a reassurance that things can go right in my life. That there doesn't have to be something bad to counteract every good. Sometimes, life can just be good. There is a light at the end of the tunnel.

Happy Tuesday.

An Awakening...

I'm itching for a new prank. Or at least, some sort of secret quest. Several conversations and events recently have reawakened the prankster portion of my soul. It has been in hibernation ever since the great Dragon Lady events of '05-'06. I've even had the perfect pranking opportunity. Well, at least I had the perfect recipient who deserved such a prank that only Dragon Lady can deliver... but hibernation is difficult to break out of. Spring has come, however. I can feel said portion waking up, sniffing the wind, feeling a bit hungry after such a long sleep.

Problem. I feel little wrath against previously mentioned recipient. Plus, he got a half-hearted revenge a month ago. Should I really do more to him? Hmmm...

Possible Solution. I'm being plotted against. Rather, I think I'm more being used as a tool in a plot against more powerful and influential people. Should I use this opportunity to my advantage?

Current State. I have no energy. Sleep is a precious commodity. Do I really have the energy to think, plan, plot and carry out? Would this provide a source of energy? A shot of adrenaline, if you will? This must be considered. I think for now, I shall sit back and wait. Prep myself to pounce when the perfect opportunity presents itself. I'm sure it will. It's never failed me before.

You have been weighed...

It's yet another Sunday. The week has come and gone. It's been a busy week. It's been a long week. It's been a very good week. It's had its ups and downs, that's for sure. Two different mornings I had to chase after a bus. I got lost in the Church Office Building and had to be escorted to where I really should have been. I've had to ask myself the question, "How do I ask forgiveness of someone when I'm not sure what I've done wrong?" And I still have not found an answer. I had one very "meh" day full of insecurities and things going wrong... the day when you just need a hug. Luckily, I got that hug, accompanied by unknowing reassurances and a most exciting game of Super Mario Bros. 3. Who knew that reliving such a pastime could bring such gleefulness? Especially when the other player is willing to play, knowing that he will lose. But, I guess it's not really a competition in Mario, is it? It's more about working together to fight the angry sun and spiky backed thingy-ma-jigs and monstrous fish that want to eat you for dinner. I started a new job this week; I even got put in charge of a new project. It's weird going to a new job and training other people that have worked there for years. But, I also get my turn of being trained on new things, too. I made the most delectable dessert this week. Having only four people eating it, it lasted for quite awhile. I'm ok with that. I've had long phone conversations with many members of my family and a few old friends. My fridge is covered in wedding announcements of good friends. It must be summer—we're seeing the results of Spring twitterpation. (Firefox doesn't think I spelled that right. It recommended extirpation. What in the world is extirpation?? Hmm... "Loss of a species from an island or region, with one or more populations surviving elsewhere." I suppose it fits in a very odd sort of way. hehe.) I got to go star-gazing last night. There's a meteor shower this weekend. It's going on for the next two nights. Y'all should go watch. There are some amazing shooting stars—perfect to wish on. My wish has come true, perhaps yours will, too. Go try it. You won't regret it. Even if your wish doesn't come true, you'll still see some amazing shooting stars. After most everyone had left, I saw one star that shot across the entire sky. I had time to see it, excitedly point at it, and hear, "Wow. Wow. Wow." before it finally disappeared. Now that is a long meteor.

Overall, the good has far outweighed the bad. I guess that's what determines a good life. Not that there is no bad—there's bound to be—but that the good outweighs the bad.

Thank you everyone who contributed to the good. You know who you are. I can't thank you enough.